The Alchemy of Quiet Despair

by Abudia Ata

They silenced me with a curse,
Carving their expectations deep into my soul,
Like stone;
I have became the crystal
On which they sharpened their knives—
Polished, gleaming—
Yet fragile beneath the weight of their blades.

And now,
They dare ask how I became quiet,
As if my silence was born
Of anything other than their cruelty.

But the irony—
It doesn’t end there.
They call it love,
Concern, they say—
Never realizing that in shaping me,
They’ve only shattered
The person I was meant to be.

Abudia Ata is an undergraduate student at City College, majoring in Biology. Born in Pakistan, Abudia moved to New York City with the goal of becoming a Pharmacy Doctor. Whether through the science of pharmacy or through her poetry, she is committed to improving the lives of others by building understanding and empathy. Her work explores the complexities of human emotions, offering reflections on identity, vulnerability, and transformation. Abudia plans to graduate in 2026 and pursue a career in Pharmacy, where she aims to contribute to Healthcare where she aspires to create impactful connections, using both her words and her work to connect to people on an emotional level.